The “Femosphere” Isn’t The Problem. Men Who Refuse To Self-Reflect Are

There is a particular kind of panic that sets in when the patriarchy feels itself slipping. And right now, the Telegraph is in full-blown meltdown mode. A columnist named Rowan Pelling has written a piece titled “Forget the manosphere, it’s angry lefty women we need to worry about”, and it is everything you would expect from a woman who has apparently never had to raise herself, let alone a man. She is worried about “young Green Amazons” who don’t want children, who spurn relationships, and who dare to be pessimistic about the future. Her solution? Strand them on an island with cavalry officers. I wish I were joking.

As the mother of sons, I wish we didn’t spend quite so much time knocking young men. TV talking points like Louis Theroux’s Inside the Manosphere have focussed our attention on problematic blokes to such an extent that few pose an important question: What’s up with the femosphere?

It seems that for every male who’s found his mentor in Andrew Tate or the late Charlie Kirk, there’s a young woman who’s been radicalised by Greta Thunberg and AOC.

What are we to do with female malcontents and their apocalyptic pessimism? If an increasing number of educated young women feel hopeless about the world’s future, hostile towards men, intend to spurn relationships, declare themselves non-binary and don’t want to have children, then we’re all up Faeces Creek without a paddle.

Perhaps that’s the answer: we stage an experimental, civic version of Love Island, involving scores of unhappy, Green‑voting young women being stranded on an island with a troop of cavalry officers or Royal Marines.

Telegraph

The “Femosphere” Panic Is Garbage

That Telegraph article is absolutely unhinged. Greta Thunberg turning women away from men? They clearly pulled that out of their arse. She has never said anything except about climate change and basic human rights. And the writer calling women “young females” instead of “young women” tells you everything you need to know about her agenda.

“Society as we know it is at risk”? Good. Sign me up. If women finally deciding they are tired of raising men and doing all the emotional labour while getting nothing back is a threat to society, then maybe that society needed to change anyway. The key difference between men who hate women and women who are done with men is that men try to hurt women, while women try to avoid men. One leads to dead women. The other leads to a shrinking dating pool. They are not comparable.

Meanwhile, the media keeps wringing its hands over the “male loneliness crisis” and somehow making it women’s fault. They blame left‑wing women for abandoning men, rather than looking at systemic issues like capitalism eroding community or the patriarchy that raises men to be toxic. And then you get articles like Rowan Pelling’s. She equates Andrew Tate, a self‑described misogynist influencer who preaches male supremacy and has been credibly accused of sexual violence, with Alexandria Ocasio‑Cortez (AOC), the progressive US congresswoman known for fighting for climate action, healthcare, and workers’ rights. As if fighting against fossil fuels, Elon Musk, and neo‑Nazis is a bad thing. She suggests that young progressive women are “seething” and “pessimistic” and that this is a danger to society. She even proposes an experimental Love Island where unhappy green‑voting women are stranded with cavalry officers to “teach them that men are decent.” It is deeply misogynistic garbage.

Why Women Are Opting Out

Many women have zero interest in dating. Not because they hate men, but because they have dated enough of them, from decent to downright awful, to know that most men have nothing they want or need. In their experience, dating men has meant sacrificing self‑respect. Wading through the bad ones to find a good one is exhausting. Is he coming into her life to add value, or just to disrupt and take? Because if it is the latter, she is good. She is not afraid of being alone anymore.

What commentators like Pelling never acknowledge is that women become political because they have to. As a Black woman myself, I would love to just talk about gossip, Marvel, and make‑up, but reality always shoves the nastiness into our faces. Femicide. Maternal mortality. The wage gap. The fact that sons are now killing their own mothers because they are stuck at home. Our existence is politicised. Trans people, women, and anyone marginalised do not get the luxury of ignoring politics. Men, especially white men, can float through life checking interest rates and never thinking about misogyny or patriarchy. That is not a sign of a balanced society; it is a sign of privilege.

So, when women finally opt out, when they decide they are tired of raising their partners, doing all the emotional labour, and risking their safety, they are called man‑haters. But the truth is simple: women are exhausted. Domestic violence rates remain high, and prosecution and conviction outcomes remain a major concern. Even in non‑abusive relationships, women still do the majority of domestic work and emotional management, often while working full‑time. So they are leaving. They are choosing to live alone, to stop using dating apps, to embrace movements like 4B.

The Real Problem Is Male Entitlement

And that “luxury beliefs” nonsense Pelling cites? Working people are fully capable of understanding systemic issues. It takes corrupt elites to hoodwink them into voting against their own interests. Right‑wing capitalism is the real luxury belief. Women have watched men refuse to self‑reflect for generations. The men who complain about women abandoning them are worried about their feelings being hurt. Women are worried about being assaulted or killed. That is the difference.

The solution does not lie with women. They have made their choice. It is now up to men to work on themselves, to stop performing politics to get dates, to actually share the load, and to unlearn the patriarchy that benefits them. But honestly? I am not optimistic. Men have little incentive to change. So women will keep living their lives, centred on their own peace, and I will not hold my breath waiting for them to catch up.