Misogyny and Abuse – Why Victims Face Blame While Abusers Thrive

Misogyny and abuse have dominated headlines in recent months. Diddy faces a federal RICO trial for allegations that extend far beyond one act of violence. Tory Lanez is serving a decade-long sentence for shooting Megan Thee Stallion. Meanwhile, Halle Bailey had to get a restraining order against DDG after he physically assaulted her. These cases reveal a chilling pattern: the public overwhelmingly supports the abuser while showing relentless hostility towards the victim. The truth is undeniable. We don’t just ignore violence against Black women. We actively condone it.

Community Complicity, Misogyny, and Abuse

Our communities have turned defending abusers into a badge of honor. We see it in the constant attacks on survivors, regardless of how they seek justice. If a woman presses charges, she’s vilified for “sending a Black man to jail.” Should she sue, the same people will call her a gold digger. If she remains silent, blame still finds her for not speaking out. And if she does speak up, the narrative shifts again: she’s accused of destroying a Black man’s reputation.

This twisted cycle leaves no safe path for victims. Women are blamed for being beaten and shamed for trying to leave. We know the most dangerous time for a domestic violence victim is when they leave. Yet we still demand they bear the burden of proving their pain and justify their actions to people who never cared in the first place.

The refusal to believe or support victims is not about love for abusers. It’s about hatred for women. Misogynoir in these moments isn’t subtle; it’s a blunt force that reaffirms the idea that black women are disposable, their lives worth less than the comfort of men.

Related | The Real Cost of Being a Male-Identified Woman

Celebrity Defenders and the Culture of Protection

This culture of impunity is propped up by powerful figures who rally to protect their own. Chris Brown, Lil Boosie, and Drake have all spoken out in support of Tory Lanez. Their defense is not a matter of loyalty. It is a public display that says violence against Black women will never be enough to make you an outcast.

Chris Brown is no reformed figure. His violence stretches far beyond Rihanna in 2009. He has faced multiple accusations of assault and abuse. Karrueche Tran was granted a restraining order after repeated violence and threats, as well as credible allegations of sexual assault. His supporters don’t want to reckon with this history because it demands they confront their own complicity.

The pattern is undeniable. Our communities have been conditioned to rally behind abusers rather than victims. We see it in the way Boosie BadAzz uses his social media to spread dangerous conspiracy theories about Cassie and her husband, painting them as masterminds to protect Diddy’s reputation.

Boosie is a man who has bragged about arranging sexual abuse for minors, and his tweets only further confirm how deeply he embodies this culture of cruelty. Drake, meanwhile, lends his platform to support Tory Lanez, as though violence against Black women is a trivial matter. This isn’t a mistake or an oversight. It’s a deliberate choice to ignore the harm done, to keep women’s voices and suffering on the margins.

Related | Cassie Shares Statement After Testifying in Diddy’s Trial

How Enabling Violence Hurts Everyone, Even Men

This pattern of excusing violence doesn’t just harm women; it also damages men who refuse to stay silent. When Kid Cudi testified about Diddy’s alleged attempt to blow up his Porsche, Young Thug attacked him online, calling him a “rat.” Cudi was subpoenaed to testify under oath about an act of violence, not to betray anyone. Yet Young Thug’s tweet suggested he should have gone to jail instead of speaking up.

This incident underscores how deeply these harmful values run. Even when men face violence themselves, they’re pressured to stay quiet to protect the same culture that endangers them. Music journalist Touré rightly pointed out that Kid Cudi did the right thing by testifying. The idea that telling the truth is “snitching” reveals just how much we’ve normalized violence—and how far we have to go to reject it.

Standing with Victims in a Culture of Misogyny and Abuse

We must stop pretending there is any justification for these defenses. Every time we side with an abuser, we send a message to the world that Black women’s lives don’t matter. It’s not just a betrayal of victims like Megan Thee Stallion, Cassie, and Halle Bailey—it’s a betrayal of everything we claim to stand for as a community.

The choice is simple. We either stand against misogyny and abuse or we enable it. The next time a Black woman says she’s been harmed, let that be enough. Let it be the moment we stop siding with those who hurt her and start showing that we care about her survival.